Locavore

This weekend my wife attended a convention of independent booksellers from all over the nation. She has worked at local or I should say "locally-owned", bookstores for at least 10 years. Our hometown is experience what everyone else is, a local culture and economy devoured by big-box stores, suburbanization, and rampant development. The convention presented several speakers that impressed my wife very much with their progressive, and my that I mean proactive, views on local economy and locally-owned businesses. Another great example here is Horton's Hardware. This store, under a few different names, has been open for many, many years. It is the quintessential local hardware, filled to the ceiling with odds and ends and brimming with ancient artifacts of plumbing and painting long past. I try to trade (using a term used by my Louisiana grandfather) there as much as I can. Larry the owner often has a forlorn, downtrodden face, that of a man on his last leg, attached to a think and disintegrating tether.

Four Persons

"There are these four types of persons found in the world. What four? He who is concerned neither with his own good nor the good of others, he who is concerned with the good of others, he who is concerned with his own good but not the good of others, and he who is concerned with both his own good and the good of others."

What type am I? What type are you? What type is the most preferred? Of these three questions that answer is the most obvious. As we look out for our own well-being, we also will look out for the well-being of others, in union.

Winter V

Winter IV

I'm sorry to be repetitive and non-industrious, but I came across this pic, yet again of Lancastershire, and had to display it, this of course being the late Spring or early Summer pic of said Land. I've heard that most of the open land in the UK is owned by a small minority, quite unlike in the US when many, many people have had the good fortune of finding their own piece of Land. This, apparently, is the River Douglas. Quite!

Winter III

These pictures demonstrate a vicarious dream, one that I doubt I will or would act on, but one that at one time in life held promise.

I dream of living within the Land, amongst trees and fields, under sky and walking on solid healthy earth. Before my parents divorced, for 4 or 5 great years (terrenal speaking), they owned 36 acres in Shelby County, KY. My father's mother was born and raised in Shelby Co., and at least on his side of the family, it is a land that feels like the paternal homeplace, although he never lived there. The acreage was hardscrabble, a mix of tertiary woods, pastures left fallow with remnants of barb wire, machinery left for dead in ditches and occasional deer stands, lying in wait for the chaos that would be the kill. (perhaps a little melodramatic there). They built a fine home of stone and cedar siding, one that they would retire to from their MI working home. My mother grew a successful garden, a birthright handed down from my talented Mamaw. The front yard grass never really grew, but my father enjoyed the serenity, dare I say, empty mindlessness/mindfulness of bush-hogging the open acreage as a means of escaping the world of suits, negotiations and confrontation. We held numerous gatherings there, Christmas for my mom's clan, Thanksgiving for my wife's small family, 3 spectacular birthday parties for the Elder, college reunions with wonderful friends. It was a kind of home, not complete nor ours, but a place to find refuge.

Then the divorce. My mom did not and could not maintain such a large spread. My stepmother, she 1.5 years younger than I, refused to take part in a place that so obviously had the firm stamp of my mother's being. It was sold. That was that. I now dream of having a Land again, a place, a refuge amongst the trees and fields and streams. The previous had this special spot that I only visited once, I believe. On the eastern border runs a small creek, a drain-off really during heavy, soaking rain. Near the back corner of the property this creek ran into one slightly larger, but one that presented an opposite bank of larger open fields with a tree break. The one and only time I saw it I loved it and wish I could recapture that spirit in that spot.

These 2 pics are again of winter, but this time in Lancastershire, UK. Of course the BBC on its website presents a home for pictures of the English countryside. Would any US site actually do that, try to reserve and revere a collective culture? The first picture is the land I would want, undulating fields, tree break, patchwork quilt. The second might be the drive from the home to the larger world. You drive, in this case, slowly out the primitive gravel drive, to the left peeking around the corner to see a neighbor's barn, the roadway, a town even. The you are leaving the hearth, your garden lying fallow in winter's cold, the fire, blankets and cups of coffee. All these, though, are yours on this Land.

Winter II

Continuing with the theme of our frozen land, I decided to display this pic of the Aurora Borealis, the 'Northern Lights'. One of my wife's life ambitions is to see the 'NL'. I find it vexing, how to travel there, how to time it, why one would travel- much less live- in such inhospitable conditions. The 'Lights', though, help reflect an essence that isn't so much scientific, one of postive and negative charges, but one more internal, of the beauty- the inherent, unmistakable and transcendent wonder of Life.

Winter

Not unlike in most locations in the eastern US, it is quite cold here, at 8F. I thank Ilona Wellmann for this fine shot, one I found at photo.net. We have no snow to speak of here, but this nicely encapsulates the season and the moment. Perhaps 3 years past, or 2.5, I planted a red-twig dogwood in the back bed as a means to contrast the red branches from a white blanket. Alas, since those 2.5 we have not had even 1 good blanketing snow. Very disappointing.

Vestiges of family past

More reputable evangelicals consider Gothard to be a cultish fringe character, but he has built an enormous empire, which depends on funding from local and state governments to bring his authoritarian version of the Gospel to prisoners, police officers and welfare recipients, among others.

I found this quote on Salon in an article discussing the ultra-Biblical worldview of Mike Huckabee. It try pains my heart to realize that Bill Gothard is a name I used to hear in my grandparents' house. My mother's family is all evangelical, or at least most of them are. 6 different cousins in 2 families have been home-schooled either a portion or for their entire schooling. I don't really know the long-term ramifications- perhaps they'll be every bit as functional as I- but their worldview depends on a fire and damnation, literal interpretation of the Good Book that just seems out of sorts with the modern world. They have all been riding their Republican Revolution for the last 25 yrs, although virtually all of them are working-class stiffs who have lost ground in that same time period. To them, though, and like Huckabee, they're not concerned with this world really. The Lord has given them what they have, and will give them far greater in the next life as recompense for their faith and dependability. Peace to them, though.

Morning Meditation

Being a loose, very loose, proponent of Samuta meditation, I found myself on the bathroom floor for a 10-minute sit this morning, the first in a long while. Like other facets of life which bring peace but are avoided, I labor arduously to bring myself to a point to make appropriate decisions, like sitting and stopping for 10 minutes. I almost always feel refreshed and still after meditating, but I'm a person driven by copious habit energies. I do find that when I sit I adjust to it easily, something I appreciate. I began the session with lightness of breath, rapid and shallow and not in the least still. By the end of my 10 minutes I was drinking in long, full breaths of air, ones that filled my lungs and head with calm.

I now have to meditate on the bathroom floor b/c my previous mediation area is now full of boxes from the home project. I'm still at odds over whether to be perturbed by this turn of events, or to let go, as the dhamma would have it. I have very little space which I could call my "own" in my home. My children have an extensive playroom in the basement. Thee other rooms in the house are filled with remnants of my packrat wife. Previously I had a corner of the basement for both lifting some barbells- a rare activity- and a meditation pillow. Now I resort to sitting in the bathroom floor. In some ways I am grateful, but...

Lawns

Lawns are nature purged of sex and death. No wonder Americans like them so much.

Like the interstate highway system, like fast-food chains, like television, the lawn has served to unify the American landscape; it is what makes the suburbs of Cleveland and Tucson, the streets of Eugene and Tampa, look more alike than not.

Nutritionism 1

In an entry on my other (bike-related) blog I briefly discussed a newspaper article, from our local rag, about an upcoming visit from Micheal Pollan. I read with great gusto his previous work, An Omnivore's Dilema, and am now working through his present book In Defense of Food. I find his work amazing and inspirational, although as is the case with one's habit energy, the inspiration does not necessarily lead to drastic change in action, only in mindset. The synthesis of his ultimate world view seemingly, well factually although I don't purport to know, is that modern scientific factory farming has harmed us in many ways unimaginable. So far the newer read is a bit less compelling, but it raises so many brilliant questions.

I'm going to read more before really dissecting his stances, but following are a couple more resources concerning Pollan's work. These, admittedly, are pro-Pollan, in that I can imagine a food culture and food lifestyle based on his perspective as being both more work, but terribly more satisfying. In September and October, when I lost 15 lbs and ate much more judiciously, I felt so much better, livelier, more regular (in several ways). To think that I would return to that monkey mind of mindless grazing of garbage. I just don't get it except at a superficial, "Gee, I'm stupid" level.

• compendium of essays, including significant work in New York Times.
• Slate review of An Omnivore's Dilema. My how I love Slate. Ironic that it was co-created by Bill Gates. Another more recent treatment of his new book on Slate. And another discussion of ..Defense.

The Buddhist path is one of renunciation, of giving up to gain. Pollan's now famous (well, in relative terms) mantra,"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." can be nicely intricated with a broader Buddhist goal of doing less for a more mindful purpose. East less because the craving, the desire, the "need" will only create greater suffering. I can't but agree 267% with such a statement, as it relates to my own existence.

Daily #6

Quieten your Mind

Reflect
Watch
Nothing binds you-
You are free!

-The Dhammapada (The Buddha)

Moments of Need

I find that when I most need to is the time when I am the least mindful. When I am relaxed, calm, and focused on the now I realize that I am, in fact, relaxed, calm and mindful. The past 3 days at work have been very busy, and henceforth very lacking in wisdom. Today I was downright hostile and agitated at work with my students. Occasionally I found myself asking "Can I be mindful now?" and the agitation and excessive plague of self-importance impeded me, no, yanked me into a room of near claustrophobia.

The tension comes from the desire- there's that word- to do what is appropriate and correct, expected, in your job while remaining in a state of equilibrium, balancing what is important, what is correct, what is required, what is completed, what is impossible. I found several situations where I failed to complete a task that not so much impacts me, but also impacts many others. It's their disappointment that I dread, to not have done my job for them. Perhaps me ego, my self, can be empty of the desire to impress, but what might their hopes be?

I sit now, having read today's entry on the importance of the 8-Fold Path and I am recentered, or at least, better able to sit and contemplate instead of pacing and raging.

Perfect View
Perfect Thought
Perfect Speech
Perfect Action
Perfect Livelihood
Perfect Effort
Perfect Mindfulness
Perfect Concentration

Listing helps remembering. Remembering helps considering. Considering helps acting. I've also been reading an interesting book, The Tree, interestingly for which I can find no information online. It's a bit scientifically didactic, but none-the-less informative and pleasurable reading. O to have a 1000-acre grove on which to share such a gift.

Aspen Grove

Baobabs

I should...

...One should be honest and faithful, without deception, chatter, hinting or belittling, not always ready to add gain to gain, but with sense-doors guarded, moderate in food, a maker of peace, observant, active and strenuous in effort, a meditator, mindful, with proper conversation, steady-going, resolute and sensible, not hankering for sense pleasure, but mindful and prudent...

This is what I would like to be, to achieve. This is how I would like to approach my days, as one who affects positively and forthrightly instead of one who detracts and diminishes himself or others.

Thursday caucus

I find myself not caring about the results in Iowa. I should care, but I don't. Are they all false? We know Hillary is. We fear Edwards is. Obama? Too "earnest" to be true? All the 'Pubs? Huckabee? I cannot fathom how an electorate that has seen 7+ years of a "good ol' boy" with huckster, populist charm who had fucked up so much none-the-less be drawn to another right-winger huckster populist know-nothing.

Today's teaching: When in doubt, search, no, Live the 4 Noble Truths. Ultimately it's all about the detachment from clinging, clinging that seems oh so important, but on further inspection, is superfluous if one is mindful. That said, attachment is what it is. My good friend D and his nice wife T have recently found out that she is suffering from a type of breast cancer. Yesterday doctors performed a lumpectomy, and furthermore had to take out some lymph nodes. She will be due radiation and chemo in February. D had to cry to me on the phone a couple weeks ago. Since 1988 he has been my dear friend. The thought of him losing his dear T raises important questions about clinging. With me, it raises equally important questions about compassion. Can I show the same to the bum on the street or the right-winger as I can to D and T? The hope is yes. Can I show the same to my spouse in times of difficulty? The hope is yes. Certainly I will lift up D and T in this difficult time.

I appreciate the thoughts of Peter at The Buddha Diaries. 'Tis challenging to be both unattached but active, entangled even if one wants to be more. These partisan times demand detached-yet-active participation by those of us who think to be more.

I recently read of the 'Winterthur' witherod viburnum, a most spectacular shrub by all accounts. We live on .25 acres, so it's a challenge to add shrubs to the existing landscape. December's Fine Gardening has a nice discussion of shrubs with fall color, and this viburnum is well in the mix. It's a compact grower @ 6', so I've decided to add it somewhere. With the kitchen renovation the back yard will take more center stage this year, so this small grower will find a home in our already full backyard.

(Thanks to The Modern Day Plant Hunter for this image).

In line with the updated backyard plan, I'm also considering a mediation space, a platform, grassy knoll, soft place, don't know. I want a place to sit, meditate, contemplate and rest here on the homestead. I hope to incorporate present foliage as part of the meditative spot. A nice brass Buddha would be nice too, but they're rather expensive, so I'm not sure of that expense. As "real" winter has established itself, I look forward to the transformative appeal of such a place. That said, the here-n-now, the mindful present instead draws attention. Maybe attention isn't the word, but the focus on what life is, what life presents now, at this moment. I also recently read of the meditative quality of winter, of the barren landscape, the wind, the "cabin fever" and monotony that being enclosed can bring. Can I, we, find the same simplicity and enjoyment out of a windswept bitter terrain as we can in spring blooms or in summer fun?

The hope is that this new blog- I have another of different subject matter- involves discussion of matters more personal and spiritual. I haven't been a particularly spiritual person in the past, but life's journey is calling me in that direction. Maybe it's age or maturity, fear, I'm not sure yet. This is part of the greater path that I'm choosing.

Tomorrow's goal will be to smile, don't you think? Yesterday's "Daily Enlightenment" subscribed to the goal of kindness to oneself. The first and foremost kindness granted should be to oneself. Henceforth that kindness can be generously poured into the beings close and distant from you. I enthusiastically subscribe to this. Am I being selfish? No, not at all. I've always been hard on myself, have loathed myself even, and if I can smile at me, myself and I, then surely I can and will smile at those in my surroundings. They deserve a smile.

Peace to all beings.